My first day of school as a child began in first grade with everything out of step. Apparently school started on a different day, so when I arrived for my first day, I was the only one who was "new".
Besides that, I had come in jeans, which apparently wasn't considered proper school attire at that school--dresses and skirts only for girls.
The teacher asked other girls to help me get acquainted. They tried, but a mindset had taken hold in my thinking that said I was different than everyone else, that they didn't like me and wouldn't like me, and that even if they did talk to me, I wouldn't know what to say
Unfortunately that thinking pattern took hold and often, when encountered with a new situation with unfamiliar people, I unconsciously freeze up and put up walls, choosing to isolate myself and stick out rather than mingle. Having recognized this, I am resolving to tell myself that I'm not that little girl on the playground anymore, and that I can choose to be friendly. What a relief to be free!
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