Today, October 30, another spot has appeared on Rich's neck, on his right side, just behind his ear like the first one 19 years ago. I'm holding fast to the Lord and to His promises, asking Him for healing and deliverance from this plague of cancer. This experience has been a furnace of purification for both of us. Rich is maintaining a cheerful, positive attitude with the expectation of healing being completed. He has been sweet and loving to me all day. Through the times of testing we've grown closer; he has learned to be kind in the midst of pain and feeling poorly; I have learned to be more positive, hopeful and dependent on the Lord--these are just a few of the changes the Lord has wrought in us during this time.
November 3, the spot behind Rich's ear turned out to be just some dried crud that looked like a growth. It is gone. The lesson: things are not what they seem. Today, I still struggled with the sight of his face swelling and being discolored. I ask the Lord for help and He gives it. How do I trust His Word and not go by sight? Which is reality?
November 4 Reading today in Luke, the passages about the storm with Jesus asleep in the boat and the disciples panicking, the woman with the issue of blood, and Jairus' daughter. In all three the natural realities were changed by faith. Jesus spoke to the storm and it ceased, the woman touched Jesus' garment and was healed, Jesus told the crowd the daughter was sleeping, not dead and He changed the reality of death to life. So in these incidents the realities of sight, of what is real in the natural are changed by faith.
November 11 Earlier this week Rich had a season of intense pain in his ear and jaw. Before that occurred, I'd been reminded by the Lord from James 1 to be joyful in times of tribulation for those times strengthen our faith and teach us endurance. That led to thoughts about how the Holy Spirit develops the fruit of the spirit in us--that is is not through a sudden change in me wrought by the Holy Spirit, but rather through a molding, cultivating process as we encounter the various circumstances of life.
November 16 The Lord continues to give scriptures about endurance--James 5: 7-11, Hebrews 12. This morning I was wondering whether He is saying that I need to endure and allow His working in my life and Rich's because healing is not going to come, that He will do a greater work in us through no healing. I saw that I am being doubleminded, I don't know what to believe. Healing, at this point, would be miraculous. I asked the Lord for wisdom so that I am not doubleminded--for Rich says the Lord is healing him. Outward appearances, sight, say otherwise. In my thoughts came the words: He is healed. I asked the Lord for His confirmation in scripture that these words were from Him, knowing that my mind has been active with many thoughts and words that did not have Him as the source. In reply came Isaiah 55:11, which says: So shall My word be which comes forth from My mouth: it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. Now will I believe?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
A Special Person: Lessons to learn
The life of a farmer can be difficult and challenging. In rural South Dakota the climate alone is a constant adversary. Harsh winters with temperatures sometimes dropping to 20 degrees below zero and blizzards; fickle springs with winter often holding out until May; wind, always the wind; dry, hot summers and drought, or hail and cloudbursts that render the dirt roads impassable.
Yet for all the years of her life, Aunt Helen remained on the farm. All her sisters married and left; her one brother joined the Navy and never came back to the farm to live. She stayed, helping Grandpa with the outdoor chores and helping Grandma with the indoor ones. Then Grandma died. Surely Helen preferred the outdoor chores, but there was food to prepare, not just for the two of them, but for church suppers and sales, for crews that came to help during harvest and branding. The house still needed to be kept clean. Helen worked on. Then Grandpa had a stroke. Helen kept him there on the farm, married Arnold and together they ran the farm and cared for Grandpa until he died. For another 22 years they kept the farm going-- continuing on as their bodies weakened.
In looking at Helen's life I see commitment, dedication to duty and persistence. Why did she stay on the farm? Maybe it was the only life she knew, the only option she thought available, maybe she didn't want to move and to venture into the unknown, maybe she wanted to keep the farm until it could be passed on to a family member,maybe she stayed because she loved her home, the land and the animals. I suspect it was a combination of all of these. Whatever her reasons, she was not a quitter; she didn't let circumstances overcome her; she kept going.
Yet for all the years of her life, Aunt Helen remained on the farm. All her sisters married and left; her one brother joined the Navy and never came back to the farm to live. She stayed, helping Grandpa with the outdoor chores and helping Grandma with the indoor ones. Then Grandma died. Surely Helen preferred the outdoor chores, but there was food to prepare, not just for the two of them, but for church suppers and sales, for crews that came to help during harvest and branding. The house still needed to be kept clean. Helen worked on. Then Grandpa had a stroke. Helen kept him there on the farm, married Arnold and together they ran the farm and cared for Grandpa until he died. For another 22 years they kept the farm going-- continuing on as their bodies weakened.
In looking at Helen's life I see commitment, dedication to duty and persistence. Why did she stay on the farm? Maybe it was the only life she knew, the only option she thought available, maybe she didn't want to move and to venture into the unknown, maybe she wanted to keep the farm until it could be passed on to a family member,maybe she stayed because she loved her home, the land and the animals. I suspect it was a combination of all of these. Whatever her reasons, she was not a quitter; she didn't let circumstances overcome her; she kept going.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Tokens of my Father's love
My earthly father did not demonstrate love and affection, nor did he give gifts easily. Three gifts that he gave me as a child stand out in my memory: a tricyle, a pair of slippers and a child-sized table that he made for me. A few years ago I brought the table home from my aunt's farm where it had been stored. It stands today as a reminder of my father's love.
My heavenly Father surrounds me with His love daily in the creation He has made, the air I breathe, the beauty of the earth, life itself, the people He has put into my life--the many things I take for granted. From time to time, though, something occurs that reminds me of His love and care. Yesterday was such a time.
While I was selling mushrooms at the farmers' market, a customer who helps me from time to time came by and asked if I needed a break. I told her that would be nice, but to go ahead and finish her shopping first. Shortly after, a customer requested 2 pounds of assorted mushrooms, which takes quite awhile to put together. Just after I'd started working on her order, Mary Margaret returned to help. Before we could finish putting together the 2 pound order, a line of customers had formed! Without Mary Margaret there, I would have been swamped! Plus when I get a lot of customers at once, I get flustered. The Lord knew my need and sent help just in time!
To many, that incident might seem like a small thing, or just a coincidence. I can look back and remember many such "coincidences" throughout my lifetime, I know they are tokens of my Father's love.
My heavenly Father surrounds me with His love daily in the creation He has made, the air I breathe, the beauty of the earth, life itself, the people He has put into my life--the many things I take for granted. From time to time, though, something occurs that reminds me of His love and care. Yesterday was such a time.
While I was selling mushrooms at the farmers' market, a customer who helps me from time to time came by and asked if I needed a break. I told her that would be nice, but to go ahead and finish her shopping first. Shortly after, a customer requested 2 pounds of assorted mushrooms, which takes quite awhile to put together. Just after I'd started working on her order, Mary Margaret returned to help. Before we could finish putting together the 2 pound order, a line of customers had formed! Without Mary Margaret there, I would have been swamped! Plus when I get a lot of customers at once, I get flustered. The Lord knew my need and sent help just in time!
To many, that incident might seem like a small thing, or just a coincidence. I can look back and remember many such "coincidences" throughout my lifetime, I know they are tokens of my Father's love.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
A Special Person: Memories
My Aunt Helen died this week, after hovering between life and death for two weeks in a coma. As I've been reliving some of the memories of time spent with her as a child and talking with family members about her I've wanted to write down thoughts about her and times spent with her.
Frist, some memories...
On holidays, our family would travel to visit grandparents and cousins, sometimes visiting both sides of the family in the same trip. The most special times to me, though, were the days during the summer that I got to spend with my maternal grandparents on their farm. Besides being a place of refuge and freedom for me, with all the fascinations that a farm has for a child who doesn't live on one, the most wonderful thing about it was that my aunt, Helen, lived there too. I could follow my Aunt Helen around, asking her questions, trying to do what she did and doing all I could to keep her to myself. One time a man came to take her out on a date. I barraged him with questions about where they were going and what they were going to do. He kept replying, "I don't know." Finally I remarked, "you don't know much, do you?" I don't remember being scolded for that, but my grandmother must have groaned and shook her head at my insolent behavior.
Each wonderful day would begin before dawn with the sun just barely bringing color to the eastern horizon. I'd follow Helen to the barn and watch as she milked the cows and squirted milk into the waiting cat's mouth. Then it was back to the house for a breakfast of oatmeal, boiled eggs and toast. Perhaps morning is my favorite time of day because of those experiences.
The day would end with Helen sitting in her room writing in her diary the events of the day. She would include notes about the weather, visitors, eggs gathered-at least those were the ones she would read to me. Sometimes she'd let me brush her waist-long hair and would teach me how to braid it. After her bedtime routine was finished, it was time for bed, except I would keep her awake for quite awhile talking. (Imagine that!)
I realize now how many things that I later did became attempts to imitate her. She wrote little articles called "Gopher Goings" for the small town newspaper. I wanted to write too and in 4th grade had a part in writing a class newspaper. Then in high school I took journalism and became one of the editors of the school newspaper. She would draw pictures of animals: horses and dogs especially. I tried and tried to draw pictures of horses too, but never as well as she did. Often she would make homemade cards with her drawings and send them to me. She and my grandparents always had a big garden with delicious fresh vegetables. I would go back to our home, scratch a little hole in the hard, dry dirt and plant a seed. Strangely, my little garden would never flourish like theirs! Even as an adult, I would write her, asking for the variety of lettuce that she grew that always tasted so wonderful. I still attempt to have a garden whenever I can, with a little more knowledge about how to make one grow!
Frist, some memories...
On holidays, our family would travel to visit grandparents and cousins, sometimes visiting both sides of the family in the same trip. The most special times to me, though, were the days during the summer that I got to spend with my maternal grandparents on their farm. Besides being a place of refuge and freedom for me, with all the fascinations that a farm has for a child who doesn't live on one, the most wonderful thing about it was that my aunt, Helen, lived there too. I could follow my Aunt Helen around, asking her questions, trying to do what she did and doing all I could to keep her to myself. One time a man came to take her out on a date. I barraged him with questions about where they were going and what they were going to do. He kept replying, "I don't know." Finally I remarked, "you don't know much, do you?" I don't remember being scolded for that, but my grandmother must have groaned and shook her head at my insolent behavior.
Each wonderful day would begin before dawn with the sun just barely bringing color to the eastern horizon. I'd follow Helen to the barn and watch as she milked the cows and squirted milk into the waiting cat's mouth. Then it was back to the house for a breakfast of oatmeal, boiled eggs and toast. Perhaps morning is my favorite time of day because of those experiences.
The day would end with Helen sitting in her room writing in her diary the events of the day. She would include notes about the weather, visitors, eggs gathered-at least those were the ones she would read to me. Sometimes she'd let me brush her waist-long hair and would teach me how to braid it. After her bedtime routine was finished, it was time for bed, except I would keep her awake for quite awhile talking. (Imagine that!)
I realize now how many things that I later did became attempts to imitate her. She wrote little articles called "Gopher Goings" for the small town newspaper. I wanted to write too and in 4th grade had a part in writing a class newspaper. Then in high school I took journalism and became one of the editors of the school newspaper. She would draw pictures of animals: horses and dogs especially. I tried and tried to draw pictures of horses too, but never as well as she did. Often she would make homemade cards with her drawings and send them to me. She and my grandparents always had a big garden with delicious fresh vegetables. I would go back to our home, scratch a little hole in the hard, dry dirt and plant a seed. Strangely, my little garden would never flourish like theirs! Even as an adult, I would write her, asking for the variety of lettuce that she grew that always tasted so wonderful. I still attempt to have a garden whenever I can, with a little more knowledge about how to make one grow!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Practical Tips
The task that I am doing right now is the most important one to be doing. I need to do it carefully, thoroughly, and as unto the Lord.
The chore that is the hardest, most distasteful--i.e. the one I want to put off to last, is the one to do first. When it is done and out of the way the others will go fast! Plus that stops me from procastinating and not getting done what needs to be done.
Take time for health--brush teeth thoroughly, eat right, don't cut life short by cutting corners because "there isn't time".
The chore that is the hardest, most distasteful--i.e. the one I want to put off to last, is the one to do first. When it is done and out of the way the others will go fast! Plus that stops me from procastinating and not getting done what needs to be done.
Take time for health--brush teeth thoroughly, eat right, don't cut life short by cutting corners because "there isn't time".
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Perspectives II
At one time, I thought that God was to supply all my "wants", for I perceived that wants were needs. I was often disappointed in what I saw as His lack of supply until I realized that my needs had always been met, just not my desires for things that weren't really needs.
Along with this misconception, I had the idea that God showed love toward us by giving us a pleasant existence without trials, sickness or hardship. Then I read about a pastor who had been imprisoned in a communist country and made to walk around and around in his cell every day like a horse on a tether line. His minimal ration of food and his sleeping conditions had rendered his body extremely weak. In this condition he was sent to a hard labor camp in Siberia. After his release, he said that what had sustained him during that time of extreme hardship was the love of God. He had even composed a little song about how God's love had made the ice of Siberia melt. His experience showed me that I had no concept of the love of God! I'm glad to say my perspectives are changing.
Along with this misconception, I had the idea that God showed love toward us by giving us a pleasant existence without trials, sickness or hardship. Then I read about a pastor who had been imprisoned in a communist country and made to walk around and around in his cell every day like a horse on a tether line. His minimal ration of food and his sleeping conditions had rendered his body extremely weak. In this condition he was sent to a hard labor camp in Siberia. After his release, he said that what had sustained him during that time of extreme hardship was the love of God. He had even composed a little song about how God's love had made the ice of Siberia melt. His experience showed me that I had no concept of the love of God! I'm glad to say my perspectives are changing.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Hundred Year Old Dirt?
Recently a man came to help Rich level the floor in the basement. That involved breaking up the old floor and carting out the concrete before the new cement could be poured. In the process, some of the dirt under the floor was also taken out. When I saw the pile of dirt, I thought to myself, "that's 100 year old dirt."
It probably isn't, since the concrete floor wouldn't have been poured one hundred years ago, but the house is that old, celebrating its centennial this year! The thought brings to mind some others concerning old things.
When we moved here, Esther and Josh were sure that there must be buried treasure somewhere in the house. They were always on the lookout for the hidden treasure whenever a wall or floor was opened up for repair. Although nothing that wonderful ever appeared, when the cistern was cleared of debris, several interesting old bottles were found, including glass milk and cream jars from the days when milk was delivered to the home.
I always enjoyed reading pioneer stories when I was a child. Much of my pretend play centered around pioneer stories. While exploring the pastures around my home, on the lookout for old pioneer artifacts, I discovered an Indian arrowhead.
It probably isn't, since the concrete floor wouldn't have been poured one hundred years ago, but the house is that old, celebrating its centennial this year! The thought brings to mind some others concerning old things.
When we moved here, Esther and Josh were sure that there must be buried treasure somewhere in the house. They were always on the lookout for the hidden treasure whenever a wall or floor was opened up for repair. Although nothing that wonderful ever appeared, when the cistern was cleared of debris, several interesting old bottles were found, including glass milk and cream jars from the days when milk was delivered to the home.
I always enjoyed reading pioneer stories when I was a child. Much of my pretend play centered around pioneer stories. While exploring the pastures around my home, on the lookout for old pioneer artifacts, I discovered an Indian arrowhead.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
I'd Rather Be
This morning I'd rather be writing all the blog ideas that I've thought of today, writing emails, and chatting on the computer.
But--I need to stay on track or everything else in the day will be derailed!
But--I need to stay on track or everything else in the day will be derailed!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
A Quote to Live By
Mat 6:33 - Seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness - Singly aim at this, that God, reigning in your heart, may fill it with the righteousness above described. And indeed whosoever seeks this first, will soon come to seek this only.
John Wesley commenting on Matthew 6
John Wesley commenting on Matthew 6
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