Yearning Fulfilled

Years ago, I'd hear testimonies of people who had a relationship with God that went beyond anything I'd experienced.  I couldn't identify with what they were saying; my own relationship seemed so wooden and forced.

Today that has all changed!  When I hear a person affirm the reality of God in his or her life and how they have found Him faithful, my heart responds with a resounding "Yes, I know that too, that is my experience as well".

What has brought about the change?  Nothing clear cut and monumental stands out.  I think it was the result of small changes of thinking and of a choice here, and a choice there.  One time after listening to sermons by Charles Spurgeon on a daily basis, I marveled at his confidence in the goodness of God.  Mr. Spurgeon had an unshakable trust in God's character as being trustworthy.  I made the decision to believe God's character is, without question, one of integrity, goodness and trustworthiness, no matter whether circumstances seemed to say otherwise.  Our heavenly Father is not a capricious, arbitrary god such as those found in Greek mythology, but wholly holy.

Another turning point came when I stopped believing that God's love for me was based on my performance.  The realization followed that His love for me had nothing to do with my "works", but was solely His choice.  "For God so loved the world..." included me. When I started on a journey to return to Oregon, He was with me, as He had always been, but this time there was a heightened awareness of His love.  Whether it came through a song, a passage of Scripture, a book taken off a shelf or a sermon; the message came through clearly:  " I love you."

Can that realization be lost or dimmed?  Yes, it can.  Some days I have wondered where it went, wondered if I was mistaken.  The awareness can be overshadowed by cares of this world, by distractions, by getting caught up in negative emotions... in many ways, just as clouds obscure the sun, it can fade.  But the remedy is easy---think on things that are true, especially the fact that He does love me and that that love isn't going to evaporate in the midst of trials---and by giving Him thanks and telling Him that I love Him.

If God loves me, even one such as me, and calls me His beloved, then most assuredly He loves you as well, for He is no respecter of persons!